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The Story of BlobFish

From the depths of the Pacific, BlobFish (a strange looking creature), seeking adventure, swam upstream to Colorado…he wanted to find the river’s source. Along the way, he saw lots of anglers who tried their best to catch him. Luckily, they were easy to spot, because they all wore horrible-looking, overpriced shades.

Swimming along, BlobFish also noticed hundreds of pairs of sunglasses bouncing along the river bottom. It reminded him of the ocean floor, littered with similar shades. BlobFish felt sorry for the anglers, and wondered, “Why would they pay so much money for something so terrible, only to lose them and have to buy them again?”

BlobFish, taking pity on the anglers, made a pit stop in Denver. He set up shop, and manufactured the best-looking, lightweight, polarized shades. He priced them under $30, and began slinging shades worldwide. Everyone loved them, not just anglers, because they blocked the sun's burning rays, and looked great at the same time.

His job complete, he started swimming upstream, once again, toward the source of the river, high in the Rocky Mountains. This time, the shores were lined with anglers wearing stylish BlobFish glasses, which made him smile. Unfortunately, one of the anglers (a taxidermist), wearing BlobFish shades, could see through the water so well (because they're polarized, man), he caught BlobFish, mounted him, and hung him on his wall. But the ghost of BlobFish lives on through his shades, which are still the best outdoor, polarized sunglasses around, under $30. PS, 3% of the profits go to Project Healing Waters...